The Salander complex

"Women are strange little beasts,' he said to Dr. Coutras. 'You can treat them like dogs, you can beat them till your arm aches, and still they love you.' He shrugged his shoulders. 'Of course, it is one of the most absurd illusions of Christianity that they have souls."
— W. Somerset Maugham (The Moon and Sixpence)


Having finished two of the books in the millenium series by Steig Larsson, I am left quite impressed by his sketch of the protagonist - Salander. She is a girl-woman who has had an extremely disturbed childhood and resorts to silence as her defence against the world. She is wrongly perceived as mentally unstable and ends up a victim of some powerful people. Only, she has too much self-respect to accept her victim status. The book's grip comes from an analysis of her rebellious character. She trusts no one but herself and consequently, becomes so capable of handling her life that she becomes in fact, the protectress of the few people who do care for her. It is the people who perceive her as an easy prey that the reader ends up smirking at. How cool.
But then I got thinking about her personality and contrasted this term I coined to describe her attitude - "the Salander complex"- with the well-known Cinderella complex that so many women suffer from. That of the victim-in-waiting for her Prince Charming. Even today, women have a ready acceptance of their victim status and seem happy with the sympathy they garner, never attempting to gain real respect. I also doubt this is true only in places like India where women are traditionally taught to be submissive. The Cinderella complex is a term coined in fact to refer to women in developed countries who, despite their education and potential, refuse to take charge of their lives. They are perenially waiting for someone to take care of them and smooth things out. It has something to do with the differences in the way men and women are raised to see their place in the world. But as a well-educated adult, can't one decide for oneself? It is common sense to see that giving up responsibilities for your own happiness only "seems" easy and that it exacts a huge ransom. No one can watch out for your happiness the way you can surely. It is unfair even to demand that another person ensure you be happy because you have duly submitted to that person's will. I see nothing wrong in the fact that women prioritise relationships over most aspects in their lives. In fact, I think they have got it right. But to accept indignity, to be unable to shed bad relationships that hurt one's own self, that is pathetic and contemptible. I wish more women developed a Slander complex instead, it would probably bring about World Peace!

Take a bow Salman

For once, I completely agree with Nikhat Kazmi –the movie critic of the Times of India. This film is seriously good, definitely not meant for fans of serious cinema and totally satisfying for those who enjoy the “silly” factor of bollywood. I was lucky to have watched Om Shanti Om in a single screen theatre in Jaipur. The audience reaction upped the experience considerably. But I enjoyed Dabangg despite watching it on a multiplex screen that was not even half full of the urban crowd who at best, are subdued in their reactions.

The movie is a well-budgeted, smartly helmed, typically bollywood, B film. It felt like a cross between Omkara and Om Shanti Om and is apparently aimed at the group that was till recently called the “front benchers”. Actually at the end of the film I wondered if the film will be a hit with the masses since I genuinely enjoyed it. I hope it is. Salman is the single biggest reason why this film works and probably the reason why the film got made. And no, am no fan of Sallu Bhai. But only he could have carried off so audaciously the character of Chulbul Pandey, the lovable corrupt cop (the promos are absolutely correct) who pauses to deliver macho dialogues in the midst of fights and breaks into gyrations too when the guy who is getting smashed by him suddenly gets a call. He quite likes the caller tune you see. “Wacky” describes the film. But where Tashan failed so miserably in being a celebration of mindless panache, this film succeeds brilliantly.
Abhinav Kashyap the director of this film, brings out the hinterland in a self-assured, knowledgeable manner, that neither glorifies it, nor makes any morbid statement about poverty. The family drama is really in the tradition of bollywood – brotherhood, revenge and the omnipotent presence of Ma. But it never bores you – the sense of déjà vu comes later. Sonakshi Sinha as the “heroine” is unusual by today’s standards. Unconventionally good looking, rather tall, and so not skinny. I found her interesting. The music is already a huge hit. And there are lots more songs than I was aware of in the film. That was one of the very few things I didn’t like. But Malaika Arora’s number would make for fantastic viewing with the “right” crowd.

Salman, his glares reflecting a neon heart shape has a whale of a time going about his role. He is in his element after quite a long time I think. And as the “shirtless wonder”, will amuse you in the climax. If you like bollywood for its uniqueness (though not quite in the tradition of films where chiffon-clad women are getting all weepy) you are more than likely to enjoy the film. For me, this is a cult film in the league of Om Shanti Om, Dev D, and even Kaminey.

It is all about sacrificing ji.

This is why I love the johar chopra itsallaboutlovingyourfamily brigade. Their ability to completely distort relations till you have no clue what being real means. Honestly, watching a skilled contortionist wouldn’t be half as thrilling. For those of you who have seen stepmom and cried, you can watch this and guffaw. Kajol as the ever suffering divorced mom of three kids is someone I couldn’t summon a shred of sympathy for. What a bizarre character! Stepmom was about dispelling the myth of a wicked stepmom and replacing her with a genuine person. But it never attempted to suggest that the ex-wife and girlfriend should now dance atop tables and find bonhomie! But then I guess from Bollywood’s POV, isme drama kidhar hai? Nobody is SACRIFICING anything!! A mother dying and leaving her three kids whom she has spent her life caring for is scarcely something that will arouse paroxysms of weepiness in the saas-bahu watching auntyjis. Still, Bollywood wanted to make this out-of-cultural-context movie by “tweaking” it to Indian tastes. Instead they just mauled it completely.

So the Husband, on hearing of his wife’s terminal disease, promptly dumps his girlfriend whom he is said to be in love with, to come and live with his wife. Offering support by being there is so bland you see. The girlfriend is one step ahead in this sacrifice ka imtihaan, and she smugly tells him – “Agar main tumhari jagah hoti toh main bhi aise hi karti”. Checkmate. The wife, not to be outdone, suggests that while she has her children’s past, her children’s future now lies with the girlfriend. When the girlfriend says that she is not the “mom-type”, the all-knowing motherindia pooh-poohs her dismissively saying every woman just is. Na ri Na ri …………….but who cares. This is pop-corn fun at its best.

The extraordinary situation is a first for Hindi cinema surely. Now that is what a situational comedy really means. If the audience did not seem so stunned (I think a lot of them were weeping and only very few were chuckling naughtily at the wrong places), I would have clapped and ceetee maaroed and thrown coins at the screen when all those tears were rolling down all those stereotype character’s faces. You have all the johar chopra accessories – pretty houses (pogen pohl kitchen FYI), very pretty clothes, scenic surroundings. Aur kya chahiye? There is comedy, there is rona dhona, there is a fashion show. Total family entertainment.

And really, you must pay special attention to the Jailhouse rock version that kajol sings. Hello ji let’s dance. Welcome to panjuland!

Rajneeti is a film that marshalls many "strengths" - multiple stars, grandness of scale, ample funding, and most importantly a genuinely respected director at its helm. Unfortunately all this adds up to nought. The film starts, if not promisingly, at least credibly enough, in true Bollwood fashion - a flashback. A number of characters are rapidly introduced and the fact that it is based on the Mahabharata is quickly made apparent. The story is about a political family and the fight for power between the cousins. Shashi Tharror first married Indian Politics to the epic story and he did an astoundingly brilliant job of it in his book The Great Indian Novel. Shyam Benegal did a corporate take on the same story with his film Kalyug, in the '70s. That too was a brilliant adaptation. Given the nature of the Mhahabharata as an epic - its everlasting relevance and the range of characters and situations, it should not have been a difficult task for Prakash Jha to do the same. But he chooses instead to second guess the commercial viability of his film and imbue it with bollywoodesque scenes and dialogues intended to generate ceetees. The result is scenes of rhetorical dialoguebaazi, sex and violence. And the typical mango people reacted with ceetees yes but also cackles of amusement at the dialogues and sex scenes which were silly and contrived. Ranbir and Katrina both struggle in roles that expect too much from their limited capabilities. Nana Patekar and Ajay Devgan cakewalk it but without much of an impact and the rest of the cast except for Manoj Bajpai, who is brilliant, are adequate. I liked Arjun Rampal's performance too. But ultimately the weak script leaves one with an uninvolved attitude. Ajay Devgan doesn't leave you anguished at the unfairness of life, Nana Patekar as Bheeshma/Krishna arouses no awe and Ranbir as Arjuna the noble warrior stands for nothing like nobility. Its a vaccuous film that I was hoping would redeem itself atleast towards the very end, by stressing the sheer meaninglessness of existence by a nihilistic finale. But no such luck. The ending is vapid, pointless. After Kites, yet another film that proves the unreliability of Big Names.

Started reading this book called The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks yesterday. I have never really been a fan of the bestselling romantic fiction but the premise in this one seemed interesting - that of a 50 plus man seeking to make his wife fall in love with him again. It began well enough - but the whole goody-goody ness of the book reached its peak when the author devoted two full pages explaining how christianity saved him from being a dull and miserable atheist (after stating that he would not dwell on this aspect of his life). His wife is good and kind and a firm believer who, he proudly states, would not have married him, had she not felt that he would one day turn to Jesus as his saviour.

While the tribal instincts of proselytising religions (may our tribe increase) is inherently irritating, I am always left feeling stunned by the illogical sense of superiority of their proponents. In the middle of a romantic novel you come against this? I can imagine that the "average" reader of this type of fiction belongs to a certain demographic and that has led the writer to pander to his taste. But surely an educated person, claiming a certain level of emotional maturity will understand that there are others who do not share the same beliefs? Apparently not.

This attitude could be forgiven in someone belonging to a century ago - education was more catechism then. But today, no matter what your beliefs, exposure to various cultures should have fostered a sense of respect for differences in beliefs. After all each religion exists merely on the faith of its disciples. There is no external proof of its truth. It is simply stupid then to keep insisting that all those not in your tribe are pathetic. Plus, there are platforms for these rants - take them there.

A girl once gave me a book about a Hindu brahmin who converted to Christianity after the "Holy Cow" chased him down a field with its horns lowered after he offered to feed it. It was a giggle fest for me.
The literal-minded can also be amusing beyond belief. Of course when I offered her a book on the goddess Kali as a return favour, she was offended. :)

Hinterland Dirama

Fun on the run - the rather non-specific promotional tag for the film actually is a pretty good description of the film Ishqiya. It's desi Chase - guns, self-deprecatory characters who often find themselves at the wrong end of these guns, a deceptive ingenue'/moll who uses them but who they fall for,and a gripping plot - very basic ingredients of a Hadley Chase novel.

The desi part however is what really has you impressed. After Omkara, whose colourful language had us piqued, Ishquiya has us rolling in the aisles. Humour is definitely the biggest thing on offer here. The side-splitting dialogues are enhanced by the utterly original characters and comic situations.This is one of those movies where I came out recounting the "scenes" and laughing over them. The pock-marked tycoon with his beauty-parlour mistress dressed like Helen and using a chabuk/used-parlour-brush on him while he lies all tied up and blind-folded had me laughing till I cried. And am not exaggerating.

The Indian hinterland with it's unfamiliar terrain, lingo and lifestyle forms a fascinating character by itself. Mira Nair is so right in saying that Bharadwaj is that rare Indian filmmaker who could appeal to an international audience because his films reveal a unique, native understanding of his roots.

The characters are, like all Bharadwaj (story writer, composer) characters, entirely original. From the tamancha wielding, paanch-kum-bees lad to the toothless old woman who wisecracks with the lafangas, the cast is sheer delight. Naseer is in form is what you can say about him. But Arshad Warsi and Vidya Balan are the revelations. Baby-faced, sexy, scheming, coy and vulnerable - Vidya plays her character with the ease of a veteran. All the number 1 and number 2 size zeros can go take a hike. This woman can act.

Arshad Warsi with all the kajal in UP in his eyes, plays the goofy macho man with elan. He has put in some serious hard work into his character and the best part is that he makes it look like he was born to play the role. Abhishek Chaubey in his directorial debut, looks like he has taken more than a leaf from Bharadwaj in terms of style. Old hindi film songs provide the background score in the most apt places and heighten the atmospherics of the tale, characters and dialogues drive the plot, and the music only adds to everything. Enjoy!

Aaal well indeed.

Aamir Khan’s annual Christmas present has opened to a fantastic response. I was expecting a lot from this film for 2 reasons – first because it stars Aamir Khan  and second because it is directed by Raju Hirani. From the two earlier films of Hirani it is clear that he literally thinks out of the box and is secure enough in his rather ethical outlook on life, to try and convert the cynical viewer. To get the audience to agree with Gandhi in India is astonishing. And yet he managed it triumphantly in his last film. In 3 idiots he has a much easier task. That of telling us that our education system stinks. We know that already, and agree wholeheartedly.

Aamir does his role of a genius-with-not-the-slightest-interest-in-marks as brilliantly as one could expect from him. Am more than a little sick of the ageing 40+ stars playing students, one of the reasons I was not sure about this film – but that just doesn’t come up as a glitch, as Aamir looks seriously young. Madhavan and Sharman Joshi who make up the other 2 idiots, are reliably good too. Kareena Kapoor plays the simple girl well enough, but really, there is not much for her to do. ( Manish Malhotra dresses her in pretty but fuss-free clothes for a change and she looks super). Boman Irani shuffles around in his typical professor attire looking like grim the reaper and inducing you to chuckles.

The story uses Chetan Bhagat’s 5 point-someone as a base but makes some significant changes, the most important one being the mystery behind Rancho (Aamir). Hirani’s refusal to be in awe of the wealthy or the titled or the certified, makes up much of the altered vision in this story. The black-and-white take on the poverty-stricken parents of Sharman whose filmily sad lives still manages to evoke good-natured-humour must be a first for hindi cinema. The movie packs in every dramatic situation – from the runaway bride to natural birth by engineers-turned-nervous-obstetricians. It’s all there - masala entertainment that still tells you the hero could be from some godforsaken part of unmainstream India. I believe the critics are holding back their stars after gushing about something as insipid as New York. Fikar not – you are going to love this one.

Keep, Keep, Keep, Thy blue ship……..

I was prepared to be blown by the whole experience. That, definitely did not happen. There are any number of films that I have seen, even in the recent past, that I would say are far better than Avatar. Having got that clear (and out of my system) let me say that I would recommend the movie to any fellow-movie-buff.

Everyone, by now, knows that the movie is about Earthlings trying to infiltrate the Na’vi – a blue-skinned alien species – so that they may obtain the unobtainium which is available in plenty on this alien planet and which is desperately needed by the dying planet of the humans. So ex-marine Jake Sully is given a Na’vi avatar and sent off to their astonishingly beautiful planet to learn what he can so that the knowledge can be used to get to the unobtainium. That being the premise on which the film unravels, the viewer spends the first half of the film expected to marvel at the flora, fauna and Na’vis on the planet. It gets boring pretty quickly. There is a surprising lack of characterizing in the film – so that the main actors are no more than clichéd stereotypes. I can see how this might have helped the good-vanquishes-evil kind of story-telling philosophy that works for any good myth or fable where the characters end up representing certain qualities that we all aspire to. In this particular case, that did not happen. I wanted to see more flesh, figuratively speaking, on the characters. Instead Sully is the intrepid warrior who is child-like in his simplicity; the girl is beautiful and innocent and trusting; the scientist understands the beauty of this alien world and wishes to preserve it, realizing we can learn from it; the”colonel” is a trigger-happy moron (which is the only okay characterization as far as I am concerned coz there is nothing so stupid as the chest-thumping-aggro-male) and so on. Surely, even sci-fi benefits from the eccentricity and individuality of its characters?

In the process of being accepted into the fold, Sully predictably aces the tests (the most important one being akin to taming the bucking bronc) and falls in love with the chief’s daughter.

The second half gets far better however as the climactic war between the humans and the Na’vis unfolds. The central philosophy of the Na’vis, which is that we are all part of the system on our planet and NOT creatures meant to rule it has been laid out earlier. As far back as in Asimov’s Foundation, humans ultimately learn to live as part of Gaia (a Greek name for Earth) so that all their actions enhance HER well-being. The emotional parts in the film came from these references – that the colonel and his army would kill their “own mother”, that you are automatically an enemy if you are sitting on "shit" that other people want (America in Iraq), the colonel swearing to “fight terror with terror” after initiatinganall-out invasion on another race...etc.
The war scene is something else and deserves every bit of the praise being heaped on the film. I was watching the whole thing literally open-mouthed. The lithe blue aliens with their unsophisticated weaponry against the ultra-sophisticated army of humans proves to be a visual treat. And when the underdogs win in the most unexpected ways, you can’t help but cheer them. So, you leave the show feeling that it was money well spent.
Now if only Hollywood’s sympathy for aliens could be reflected in their country’s foreign policy towards the non-white countries…….sigh!

City Of God among other things.

Saw the internationally acclaimed Brazillian film, Cidadede Deus - City of God on DVD last night. Had the film with me for ages but never got down to seeing it because I was afraid I would get all gloomy about it. Thankfully nothing of the sort happened. The movie, which is "based on a real life story" is gripping from the word go. Starting from the end and then taking us back to introduce the various people that come together, the movie does a "pulp fiction" with finesse. Rio de Janeiro,the city that immediately brings to mind an aerial shot of Jesus with his arms outstretched,over the city, is shown only in its ugly side in this film. The director's camera however, does not allow you time to brood. Quick pans that have the handycam effect are means to a gripping narrative so that you refuse to blink. Billiant film.

While watching the film I couldn't help comparing the miserable conditions of living (of the characters shown in the film) with that of slum-dwellers in Mumbai. While the violence must exarcebate the misery of poverty, at least the Brazillians have shelter, AND water AND sewage. They even have a proper road in the midlle of their houses. Their living quarters are actually organised into neat rows. Exactly where does one begin to feel sorry for Indians on this count? The places where people - hard-working, self-respecting people(like our domestic help)- live, do not even have water connections. A toilet in the house would be considered a luxury. Families of 6to 10people squeeze themselves to sleep in bed-sized areas. And, inexplicably, kids happen. Actually kids are swarming all over the place. Obviously a "standard of living" is simply not a consideration. The Indian mindset seems hell-bent on proving - "I reproduce, therefore I am."

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Section 377 violates the right to life, liberty and equality - thus judged the Delhi HC. Thank You! Der aaye durust aaye.




With Hindustan Times carrying out a series of articles on racism in Mumbai - a self-analysis, post the Oz brouhaha - it looks like we may have matured enough to realise that we have some overhauling to do. Like throwing off old attitudes about what is mockable and what isn't. Fat, Black, Gay or as it still happens with Hindi films, Women, should not be seen as easy targets. Dostana took the smart track - it did not actually have a gay couple but it explored the idea in a funny, non-judgemental way that has never been seen on Hindi screens. Lighten up!was the message, not the yucky "tum logon ki biraadri aaj kal kuchh zyaada hi badh rahi hai" type of dialogue seen in films like "Welcome".




I have known no one who is a gay in my life but as a teen I saw it as an "abnormality" that was perhaps the result of debauched ideas or unfortunate abuse. When my MBBS cousin told me that some people were just born, "wired" that way, I told him in no uncertain terms - "what rubbish". His ten years of analysing the human physiology did not after all make him a superior judge of such things as far as I was concerned.

Today, I feel glad that this silly ignorance which is essentially based on the fear that things that don't conform could be dangerous, has given way to a more accepting outlook. After the media-bashing in the last post, I have to admit that the media has played no mean role in nudging this belief into me. The only time I came across a gay couple was on a bus ride to the Grand Canyon from Vegas. They were young and good looking and ridiculously quiet throughout the journey - clearly self-conscious. It made me think why the sight of them holding hands should offend anyone so much. The pursuit of happiness is a noble goal after all.


If finding love in the unusual way is your means to it, it should definitely not be anybody else's problem.
Here's hoping that society stops agonising over these non-issues and takes to conserving it's energy for something positive.

I was watching an episode of a serial on Nick which goes by the name of Maruko. It is about a Japanese (I think) girl who lives with her parents, sister and grandparents. It is sweet in a non-cloying, heartening way. At a time when most kid's serials are about overtly aggressive behaviour and scarily adult themes like vengeance, this one felt like a breath of fresh air. Maruko's best friend is her doting grandfather - an emotional person given to shedding tears at the drop of a hat. The serial actually mocks his sentimentality - but in a way that endears him. It is often deprecatory to the main characters but what emerges is the reassuring feeling that things like family and love and affection, and the small things in life are important enough to make a story about.

Simple situations and characters are all but extinct in the media today. Whereas our lives will involve precisely these factors. Entertainment that touches this chord sensibly will surely be rewarded with a loyal viewership. The apathy towards most issues among people today has a lot to do with exaggerated, negative, media concerns. And then, despite all the sensationalism and "breaking news" attitude, the media does nothing to help change the lives of people where it matters most - by ensuring better governance. For all its relevance today the media may as well only give us the economic analysis - socially it has only helped foster cynicism. Even the political news is mere reporting and is very often nothing more than the dictated gossip of some power-that-is.

100 things about me. Task done:)

1. Last beverage → carrot and lauki juice!
2. Last phone call--> last night
3. Last text message→ was a pj.
4. Last song you listened to→ chupke se chupke se raat ke chaadar tale on the radio.
5. Last time you cried→ Yesterday

SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Dated someone twice →nope
2. Been cheated on? →yes
3. Kissed someone & regretted it? → Yes
4. Lost someone special? → Yes
5. Been depressed?→ Yes, (what morbid questions).
6. Been drunk and threw up? → Nope. Just gotten pleasantly tipsy. Iam so good!


HAVE YOU:
1. Made new friends → Yes. I do that sort of thing.
2. Fallen out of love → Yes. I don't normally do that sort of thing.
3. Laughed until you cried → Only while reading PG Wodehouse as a collegiate.
4. Met someone who changed you → Everyone is an influence in some way. I like these lines, they hold true for me :

My life is like a landscape,
where everyone leaves a mark.
Another pebble overturned
or a mountain range.

5. Found out who your true friends were → and who weren’t, unfortunately.
6. Found out someone was talking about you → Behind my back? Now there’s a line! but yes
7. Kissed anyone on your friend's list →………..but I was so young and it happened such a long time ago.
8. Made the first Move → Yep. You live, you learn the tricks.
10. Do you have any pets → No though I do like dogs – the four legged ones.
11. Do you want to change your name → Why would Ido that? And after my parents went to all the trouble to get their bong neighbour's help on this!
12. What did you do for your last birthday → Had a blast.
13. What time did you wake up today – 8 am on a Sunday.
14. What were you doing at midnight last night→ Listening to the radio, reading a magazine and trying to sleep. I multitask when Iam not sleeping.
15. Name something you CANNOT wait for → Opening my gifts!
16. Last time you saw your father → Six years ago.
17. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → Be a morning person.
18. Most visited webpage → blogspot

ABOUT U:
1. What's your name→ M
2. Nicknames→ Monica
4. Zodiac sign → Scorpio – though I lack sting.
5. Male or female or transgendered → Female and so glad for it.
6. Elementary→ was the teacher’s pet.
7. Schools → the primary till the 5th was good. The convent boarding experience – not good.
8. Colleges → No more Quant. Lots of friends. Fell in love (and how!)
10. Hair color → Mahogany at the moment.
11. Long or short → shoulder length sir/ma’m.
16. Height → 5ft3in
17. Do you have a crush on someone? → just Aamir (as in Khan)
18: Ever been in love? → Yes
19. Piercings → Honestly? Don’t care for them at all.
20. Tattoos → they look good when they don’t appear desperately sexy
21. Righty or lefty – Would have enjoyed being a lefty.

FIRSTS

:23. First piercing → Ears (and the last)
24. First best friends → My cousins who I grew up with.
26. First sport you joined: running/catching, chor police
27. First pet → Never had any
28. First vacation → My dad was in the army, so vacations were to my grandparent’s place.
29. First concert → Never been to one.
30. First crush --> in school. Never even said hi.
49. Eating → a little more than I should ideally?
50. Drinking → lotsa water and breezers on weekends.
52. I'm about to → go to a mall.
53. Listening to--> someone pottering about in the kitchen.
YOUR FUTURE :
58. Want kids? --> they have happened already.
59. Want to get married ? --> too late. It’s done.
60. Careers in mind? --> writer – how original is that?
68. Lips or eyes → both?
69. Hugs or kisses→ both?
70. Shorter or taller → than what, me?
71. Older or Younger → doesn’t matter.
72. Romantic or spontaneous → spontaneously romantic! (spike this was too good to change)
73. Nice stomach or nice arms → arms is sort of a priority. Even though I don’t cling. Really.
74. Sensitive or loud → the person? Why would I care for loud?
75. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship
77. Trouble maker or hesitant → Either or………….

HAVE YOU EVER :
78. Kissed a stranger → No
79. Lost glasses/contacts → No
81. Sex on first date → ai aiyooo. Devare and hai tauba.
82. Broken someone's heart → Yep
83. Had your own heart broken → Yep... that too
85. Been arrested → Not yet
86. Turned someone down → many times :D
87. Cried when someone died → Yep!
88. Liked a friend that is a girl/boy? → ??? Oh! they can be a transvestite too..!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself → You would too, if you were me. Seriously though, I do.
90. Miracles → Yep.
91. Love at first sight → I do believe in attraction at first sight.
92. Heaven → No and not in hell either...
93. Santa Clause → Is cool
94. Peace in this lifetime→ Umeed pe duniya kaayam hai.
95. Kissing on the first date? → Nahin yaar. This tag is beginning to make me feel old now
96. Angels → Sure
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → I AM old.Ishould have never attempted this.
98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time in the past? → I can truthfully say no. Phew!
99. You will die Young→ 50 is young, right?
100. You will end with the one you love and learn to love the one you are with → Brilliant. What more could one ask for oh spirit of the blog-tag :)

Spike, i did not even have to answer 82 to 88. Just kept yours.

Eat, Pray, Love is a book that comes highly recommended - from places as diverse as The Guardian to Julia Roberts. It is funny in that self-deprecating way that so instantly endears the writer to you. After a traumatic divorce and a love affair gone awry, she talks about her experiences over the course of a year as she visits Italy, India and Indonesia - staying 4 months at each place - in an effort to get her life in order. It is a year of self-analysis and healing that she takes up with missionary zeal.

As you follow her on this journey, you laugh aloud every so often as she wisecracks about everything - from the moment she starts praying ("like,.........to God") in sheer misery, to the outcomes of her vow of celibacy for this period (where she accepts that choosing to visit Rome is dangerusly at odds with being celibate).

While she reports her grief with the same funniness as she does everything else, you cant help but empathise with this girl for her bring-it-on attitude to life. Her relentless search for happiness is what has definitely found an echo with most women today - considering that this book is an international best seller and is all set to be made into a movie starring Julia Roberts.

Her stint in Rome, where she learns Italian and diligently steers clear of Italian men, is still an exercise in pleasure as she feasts on pasta and pizza and wonders along with her friends as to why people even bother to cook or eat anywhere else in the world - Italian cuisine is that yummy.

After eating her way out of her wardrobe in four months, Liz proceeds to gain spiritual insight in where-else-but-India. Spending the whole of the four months in her Guru's ashram, she not only benefits immensely from this self-imposed discipline, she keeps you, the reader as much in splits as she did in Rome. From here she proceeds to Ubud in Indonesia to meet a toothless medicine man who had predicted that she would be back to meet him and that she would have put her unhappiness behind her. This is where she fulfills the last verb/noun of her book's title. Ya, She finds love. The happily ever after ending thus finds our heroine at ease in life finally. The thing is, she does all this with an attitude that is, at the same time,determined and accepting.

Like a Sir Galahead of yore, Liz slaughters her own demons and wins the hand of the ....err, crown prince.

The book has its share of new age spiritual stuff that may have been dismissed as blah had it not been so gently shared by the writer. There is a genuineness to the tale that goes beyond the fact that it is a real life experience. It is somewhat similar to the Dalai Lama's stance on Tibetan Buddhism - you really dont need to change your religion and get called something else - if there is something that appeals to you, by all means feel free to use it. Similarly, you may or may not share her beliefs, but there will be much that could lead you to introspect.

And while most of us would definitely find her behaviour radical, it is fair to think that we would love to be able to do all that. March to a different drummer :)

You know what they say about shaadi ke laddoo - jo khaye woh pacchhtaye aur jo na khaye, woh bhi pacchhtaye. Translated this would read - The sweetmeat of marriage - he who eats it regrets; and he who doesn't, also regrets :) . I think that actually applies to having children. A few years into marriage, you get all emotional about having children. With the first child you are simply obsessed ( I used to get up at night and nervously check if he was breathing). Once you have them you yearn for those freedom days.


Both my kids go to different schools. One is in the fourth and the other has just started with nursery. Everyone advised me against doing this but the problem is that my older son goes to an international school - which translates into a Very Expensive School. Since my toddler was merely going to spend a couple of hours at school for the next 3 years - I thought it made sense to send him to another, less expensive, school. Which actually meant that their shared vacation period was a total of seven days. Now my younger son has started school while the older one is going to be at home for the next two months, almost. This means poor me gets no time off at all. Add to this the fact that the older one has suddenly decided to become a smart alec. He thinks saying things like "you are such a lazy mom" in front of a queue of people waiting to board a flight is hillarious stuff. He has also gotten umbilically attached to his birthday gift - a psp. Which means I have to repeat every single sentence a couple of times before his brain grasps it. And the younger has this "violent streak" in him which shows up at alarmingly regular intervals these days. The genetic basis of his behaviour was being animatedly discussed at our house as all of us are such thanda thanda cool cool types. Finally after a visiting cousin named him Osama (after watching him pull his brother's shirt in anger yelling " tu ruk mujhe maarne de" for having dared to pull his cheeks"), we decided he is a throwback to some neanderthal ancestor.

Cute na? I can't wait to see what new problems I will face in the coming years. ( Yep that's me being sarcastic.)

I am Here

Life changes so suddenly and without warning. Three months back i had reached a level of indifference towards life that i never thought was possible. I would look back to the time i was 20 and wonder what had happened to that determination to find happiness in life. And just when I had achieved all that to outward appearances, was exactly what i wanted, i lost it. Literally. Anyway, the disllusionment has passed. I never thought THAT too would. And I am once again left with hope. Umeed pe duniya kayam hai. And its nice to grasp at it again, to feel its pervasive influence in every moment of my life.

Its with eagerness that i look to the year ahead. It is going to be a year of extreme unimagined change for me and for the people I know. I hope I come through the person i want to be. Would love to hear from anyone out there. How important is this pursuit of happiness to you? And how is life treating you?

with love